Friday, January 13, 2012

I'm a Bad Tipper

• One way to drink more water is to drink scotch-and-water and spit out the scotch.

• Replace sugar with salt and salt with sugar.

• One way to train for a 26.2 mile marathon is to get really good at running .2 miles and then, when you’re comfortable, add in the 26-mile part.

• Remember, when you “sabotage” your diet plans, you’re making a “sab” out of “tag” and “e” (don’t stop and try to figure that out… just keep moving on!).


You can get into any Weight Watchers meeting by looking exactly like Jennifer Hudson.

• Never eat black cat on a weigh-in day.

• Two things that make you look trimmer are wearing dark clothing and losing weight.

• When you're at a restaurant, ask yourself one question: "What the hell am I doing at this restaurant?"


Did you know that you can actually leave the banana skins on when you mix up a smoothie? Of course, you can't drink it then...

• Instead of taking the stairs, take the elevator. Wait, you didn't let me finish… take the elevator while doing 1,000 lunges!

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Life Is Good

Life is good.

Well, life is pretty good.

I mean, it’s okay, I guess.

There’s a lot of things that thoroughly frost my shorts though, like people being mean to each other and the way my body seems to sometimes crave all the wrong kinds of foods and then makes me feel miserable.

Life is pretty crappy sometimes.

You turn around twice and you’re older than you want to be, less healthy than you want to be, maybe not exactly where you thought you’d be by this point.

C'mon Life! What are ya doin' to me?

I mean, sometimes you get so stressed out and so worked up that you think you’re gonna explode.

And then you come to a realization: I don’t have control of every aspect of my life, but I do have control the most important ones.

I may be older now but I like to think I’m wiser, too. I may be less healthy than I want to be but I’m healthier than I was yesterday. If I’m not exactly where I want to be right now, I AM on my way.

And life is pretty fantastic sometimes.

There are a lot of things that put a smile on my kisser, like people doing good things for  each other and the way my body accepts that I’m trying to take it to a better place.

Life is good.

Working Out Sucks Winners!

In my “Working Out Why Working Out Sucks Doesn’t Suck Giveaway,” I promised to give away three copies of Working Out Sucks! by Chuck Runyon, the CEO and Co-Founder of Anytime Fitness. Well, I always keep my promises (except when I promised to take my daughter to Disneyworld… it really wasn’t that much fun, Pisa; the lines were waaaaay too long!).

Anyway, I asked readers to give me their excuses for not working out, and of those entries, I chose these winners…

BeBeGetsWordy said...
1.    It's slightly tepid outside and I need a perfect balmy weather to go running

2. The treadmill went really hard last week with me, so I think IT needs rest

3. I got home late (5:05pm as opposed to 5:00pm)

4. I lost weight this week, I can take today and tomorrow off

5. I need to spend some quality time with my couch. It misses me.

(I actually have used all of these. No joke)

Tigerlilly said...
My worst excuse ever is ... " I can't go workout, I have kids" ... when the truth is they are my reason for working out and losing weight. Plus, my gym has awesome child care that my kids love going to.

Calvin said...
JackSh*t, I always use the one tried and true method of avoiding working out. It's a twofold approach that helps me to a) deny responsibility and b) make myself self-important. I say, "I just don't have enough time to workout". And voila, it works. What is really a 2 hour meeting in the morning, becomes an all day affair that kept me from attending the gym at 10:00 pm. Although I slept in on Saturday and didn't wake up until 1:00 pm due to partying until 7:00 a.m. the night before becomes, "I was so exhausted from all the contacts I had to make the day before, I simply had nothing else left to give to myself". Yep, I become the martyr who's fitness is secondary to saving the world in which we live. In short---
I have more time than I think if I would actually be responsible about it.

Thanks to everyone who participated, and special thanks to my friends at Fitfluential and Anytime Health.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012


It happened on one of those Zipfizzy-Doo-Dah days
Now that’s the kind of day when you can't keep your eyes open

Without a lil help from Zipfizz.

Zipfizzy-Doo-Dah, Zip-A-Dee-Yay.
Somebody sent me free Zipfizz today!

Plenty of caffeine headed my way!

Zipfizzy-Doo-Dah, Zip-A-Dee-Yay

Mister Jack Sh*t’s got free Zipfizz! 

It came for me.
For me especially.
Everything was complimentary!

Zipfizzy-Doo-Dah, Zipfizzy whiz!

Wonderful feeling.

Got free Zipfizz!

Yes Sir!

Zipfizzy-Doo-Dah, Zipfizzy fix!

My oh my, healthy energy mix.

Vitamins and minerals headed my way.

Zipfizzy-Doo-Dah, Zipfizzy Yay!

Got some Zipfizz for my cup now.

In a tube shaped 

Like batteries.

Plus, it’s only got 10 calories!

Zipfizzy-Doo-Dah, Zip-A-Dee-Yay.
Wonderful Zipfizz!

Mix with water, okay?

Got no sugar, so no let-down.

Take a drink,

Before exercisin’

Huh........who took my Zipfizz?

Boy, this stuff is energizin’!

Zipfizzy-Doo-Dah, Zip-A-Dee-Yay.

Wonderful Zipfizz,

Get some today!